Baqash : To Seek

I have recently begun entering communities of online Christians to gain knowledge of other denominations as well as help provide insight to other people with more personalized questions. Someone struggling with their faith and “prayer life” posted this:

(Paraphrased) “I’ve given my life to Christ but every time I pray for something, nothing happens. I am reading my bible and praying but nothing happens. I have given my life to Christ multiple times, but each time felt fake. I have heard many people talk about how they feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit, receiving dreams from, and heard God speaking directly to them. I have never had these experiences, and I don’t believe I even have the Holy Spirit. When I sin, even with recurring ones I feel no guilt or condemnation. I am here asking for help from you all instead of God, because all I feel is death and darkness and cannot hear God. I believe I struggle with faith as mine is only of a mustard seed, and maybe even less. I am afraid because if I don’t get to know Jesus, I will go to hell and burn forever. It is either I obey, or go to Hell. I am Miserable.”

My first statement re-reading and writing to this statement is WOW. One can really see the sorrow and distress the writer of this concern is going through, and as someone who has struggled with this EXACT situation…I understand the turmoil inside that happens to someone when they think God operates one way for other people, and it seems like you are being ignored by Him or that you may have placed belief in the wrong deity. However, my first thought on this topic may be a bit abrasive and controversial.

God is not a genie and you have no right to demand He give you what you ask for, nor do you even deserve a response, especially when you admittedly repeatedly do things you know are against his commands. The commands are not there because He wants to control you, they are there because He wants to create the best possible life for you, the people around you, and the world around them. 1 Corinthians 10:23 ““I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.”. God allows you to make whatever choices you want, but not all of those choices will benefit you or those around you.

Deny yourself

Matthew Chapter 6 verses 7-13: “⁷ But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.⁸ Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.⁹ After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.¹⁰ Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread.¹² And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.¹³ And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.”

This verse tells Jesus’ disciples how to pray. In this prayer there is an extra special phrase “THY kingdom come, THY will be done in earth as it is in heaven“. “THY WILL BE DONE“. The questioner is so stuck in the fact that they aren’t getting the things and responses from God the way they expect him to, and in the timing that they expect him to, that they reject the thought that “It’s not about you. It’s about The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”.

Take up your cross

Matthew 16:24: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” You must deny yourself and your desires of the world and pray to God “Thy will be done. Meaning, “God, I accept whatever you let be, whatever plan you have for me, and will follow you in everything I do no matter the cost; Mark 8 ³⁶ For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”.

Matthew 6:33-34: “³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.³⁴ Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow”. What you want does not matter. God (and the natural world) will provide you everything you need if you first seek the Kingdom and Gods Righteousness. It is not enough to just seek righteousness, you must seek the pinnacle and be moving in that direction each and every day. Paul described it is his letters as death with Christ:

Galatians 2:20: “²⁰ I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 5:24 “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” 1 Corinthians 15:31 “31I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.”. Each person must crucify themselves daily, rejecting their own flesh, their own desire, their old self, to seek a new life with a new body, new desire, and walk a narrow path of righteousness. Proverbs 8:20“I walk in the way of righteousness, along the paths of justice,”

Your sins have separated you.

Isaiah 59 12-13,3,2: “¹² For our transgressions are multiplied before thee, and our sins testify against us: for our transgressions are with us; and as for our iniquities, we know them;¹³ In transgressing and lying against the Lord, and departing away from our God, speaking oppression and revolt, conceiving and uttering from the heart words of falsehood.³ For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness. [Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:² But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.]

The person with the problem of not hearing from God admittedly feels no guilt or shame when committing repeated sin, and is complaining that God is not giving them what they want… Jeremiah 17:9-10: “9The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? 10I, the LORD, search the heart; I examine the mind to reward a man according to his way, by what his deeds deserve.”. God rewards his servants Hebrews 11:6: “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

There is an evil in this world, being the devil and his minions (Demons/Fallen Angels) and he is actively fighting against you. His goal is to convince humanity that God is not who He says that He is, that He is restrictive, or Cruel. Genesis 3 shows this dynamic: “1Now the serpenta was more crafty than any beast of the field that the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?’ 4“You will not surely die,” the serpent told her. 5“For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” John 8:44: Here is “the devil…a murderer…not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him…a liar and the father of lies.”. There are many things working against the Christian and those who Seek Righteousness; you must resist them.

Faith like a mustard seed

The writer suggested that they had such little faith that it was like a mustard seed or smaller. Well, we must first acknowledge that they misunderstood and misquoted that text. Matthew 17:20: ““Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” Jesus is saying here even such a small amount of faith equal to the size of a mustard seed (a very small seed) would allow a believer to move mountains. So obviously, this person does not have the faith of a mustard seed…and neither does any other person on the planet. That is Jesus’ point. Humans have such a lack of faith that it doesn’t even add up to the size of a mustard seed, hence why we continually fail to live up to the expectations set for us. If people truly believed…wouldn’t they do everything God told them?

Do not get overconfident with your faith. If you truly believed…who knows what would happen. ““It’s too terrifying a reality to fully believe. I don’t even know what would happen to you if you fully believed it…There’s no limit to what would happen if you acted like God existed…Really, really, you believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, and yet you act that way, and I’m supposed to buy your belief?” – Jordan B. Peterson

A final point…they came to man for an answer because they are not receiving answers from God in a direct, verbal, or visionary manner.

Jeremiah 17:5-8: “5This is what the LORD says:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind, who makes the flesh his strength and turns his heart from the LORD. 6He will be like a shrub in the desert; he will not see when prosperity comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 7But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. 8He is like a tree planted by the waters that sends out its roots toward the stream. It does not fear when the heat comes, and its leaves are always green. It does not worry in a year of drought, nor does it cease to produce fruit.”

Conclusion

In my experience, when I was praying for God to GIVE ME things…relationships, finances, to hear God’s voice, I only felt sorrow and desolation and even turned to the other side hoping to get a response from them. My desperation led me to looking for a response from anything, and I got it. Let me tell you…not a very fun experience. When you act selfishly, you will open yourself up to the entity that is the embodiment of selfishness. All he cares about is himself, and will manipulate your own selfishness for his means.

The best option for a person with a struggle similar to this (That I can come up with) if you want to continue being a Christian do this:

Do some serious introspection. Examine the content of your heart, and understand that even you are corrupt. Say to God that you need help in your faith, ask him to guide you, ask him for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, then give your present and future to him saying “THY WILL BE DONE”. And leave it at that. Every day say within yourself “Thy will be done Lord”, and follow His commands. Keep His law, and have grow your faith from any means necessary. Research more, read more, and find evidence to prove your faith right. You will have negative experiences in the world, and you will make horrible decisions. “Thy will by done”. It is not about you.

Walk by Faith. Continue seeking, searching, and humbling yourself. Step out on the water, and have faith.